Smemoranda In 2001, Baricco wrote this text, is a bit 'long but the result is guaranteed .. I am laughing I still have tears coming down ....
Things that happen when you change a nappy 1 - The diaper can 'be changed for three reasons:
- because the mother says
- because he says the mother-in-law
- why did the baby poop.
course, the gesture lost in the first two cases, much of its drama.
The real, authentic, diaper change requires the presence of shit.
It usually happens this way '.
Mom takes the baby, it smells a bit 'and he says, his voice cheerful and rather stupid:
"And here's what we did, eh?, I feel a certain odorino ... what did the little angel?" .
Then the mother goes over and vomits.
At this point it is recognized by his father's father left to right. The father right
says "this sucks!" and calls the nanny. The father takes the child and left him to go change.
2 - The diaper changing, strictly on the changing table.
The station is a mobile when you see it in your house you know that a lot of things are over for good, including the youth.
However, it is well designed: it has a number of drawers and a floor on which to place the child.
Have a child sit still on this plane is like a trout to be poised on the edge of the sink. E 'key is within ever.
The average newborn is unable to turn around almost on the side but is perfectly capable, as soon as you turn around, to knock them down 'from the baby making you the umbrella gesture: it seems that Allenina in the placenta, in those nine months that go under water. So
: Hold steady and hope for the best trout.
3 - Once stripped the baby, the diaper which is what Gadda
called the "extrusion" .
E 'moment of truth.
detach the two pieces of tape on the sides and the diaper is opened.
The stench is awesome.
E 'singular thing is able to produce a bowel virgin after all: the stuff you expect from the intestine of Bukowski, not your son.
But anyhow, there's nothing to do. Or rather, invent survival techniques.
I, for one, I am convinced that after all the shit smells like yogurt children.
Think about it: If you look, it might also seem that your child is sitting on a box of family Yomo double cream. If you look at it more 'difficult.
But without looking ... with this system I was able to obtain good results: now when I open a yogurt I smell like shit.
4 - Grasp the ankles with the left hand of the child and bring it up like a chicken. With the right
open the package and take a scented wipes. Even
the magician Silvan He succeeded: the wipes come off only in groups of 80.
then shake up the block between your fingers to stay with a number of wet lower than 5.
At that point, usually, the hen-trout, fed up with being hung like an idiot, tugs, unless you fall, will manage to spread a lot 'of shit around. Dab
anywhere with scented wipes. Retire on the chicken and wipe the seat with a gesture robbed of the child.
cutlery used in the diaper wipes, and close it.
At that point, your situation is, in his left hand a chicken-trout with the features of your child, a chemical bomb in his right hand.
5 - NOT GOING TO THROW THE CHEMICAL BOMB! The trout would slide to the ground. then place it in the neighborhood (the bomb, not the trout), recording the odd smell of yogurt that is spreading in the air.
Without letting go with your left hand, use the right to clean thoroughly and then go to the oil. There pour a few drops on your hand. They slip down immediately 'to the wrist cuffs and crossing the border from them' disappear in the underground of your clothes the night has vanished in my socks.
fully lubricated, pass the pasta Fissan, a unique product born of an embrace between the mayonnaise and liquid chalk. He filled the seat of the chicken, and of course there variously distributed around jackets, pants, etc. ...
At that point, you have almost finished.
At that point the baby pees'.
6 - The child pees' to the event. This makes your sweater.
You make an instinctive step back. ERROR.
trout. free at last, is thrown down 'from the station.
Pick up the trout and never told her mother what had happened.
7 - Take a new diaper. Understand which side in front (there is usually a colorful Greek that helps to make you feel stupid). Enter
tral leg of the baby diaper and close.
The system has been well studied: two kinds of pieces of tape on the sides, just a little pressure and the diaper is closed. Yes, but how close? so 'is too narrow, so' is too wide, so 'is too narrow, so' is too wide, you can 'get even a dozen attempts.
E 'that's when the child begins to realize that you have a father idiot: rightly expresses some disappointment, that starts to cry like a martyr.
From then gets all in a breath and sweat.
8 - Despite the decibels expressed by the child, remain calm and try to clothe the child.
This is the moment of poussoir.
When God chased 'men from Paradise said, give birth in pain and you close your children's overalls with poussoir. To close a
poussoir must have, great coolness, seeks exceptional, Madonna's ass. The number of
poussoir present in a swimsuit is amazing and wickedly, odd.
9 - If, despite everything, we can make the child have almost finished.
you remember that you forgot the baby powder: the ass is arrosserà.
Think of the children in Africa, and concludes: arrosserà it, and that will never be.
So take the baby and returned to her mother.
you ask:
"did you put talcum powder?" .
You say "yes" . With conviction.
10 - physical and psychological burdens.
Physically, change a diaper burn the same calories in a game of tennis.
psychically, his father post-diaper tends to feel terribly good and at peace with himself.
For at least 3 hours is pretty much convinced that I have 'the noble spirit of Mother Teresa of Calcutta.
When the effect disappears, replaced by a compelling desire to be single, young, idiot and a bit 'right.
Some go so far as to consult the industry, "convertible" in Gente Motori.
other phones at an old ex-girlfriend and when she says, pulling down.
A few say they have to go to buy cigarettes, get out and then, tragically return.
wraps them in the house of fire safety, the warmth of feeling safe, and a singular, piercing smell of yogurt.
Sunday dinner suocerone decides to take us Eataly ... tells us it is a beautiful place, full of things to eat ... I'm thinking that if you call Eataly .... anyway me and a bit topastro 'shudder because in all honesty we do not believe can be a place for us ... After a relative 
